When i was about nine years old this song would come on the radio about once every 10 minutes. It was like the plague, you just could not escape it.
Anyway, the other day me and my esteemed coleagues Albert Love and Wax Atom were talking about how there were a string of hits in the 90's that all sounded exactly the same. They generally consisted of a techo-ish beat with some deep voiced rapper talking about dancing or having the power or some other complete gibberish. We named off the top of our heads the C & C Music Factory, Snap, and the KLF. Wax Atom said he had never heard of KLF, so we played him the above video in an attempt to jog his memory. He didn't remember, but we sure did laugh a whole lot.
we continued to watch every KLF video we could find. Wax particularly lost his shit on this video, laughing until he cried when Tammy Wynette (who sings the main vocal on this for some inexplicable reason) comes out of a cave singing, "They're justified and they're ancient, and they drive an ice cream van." (at 1:30)
We then found out there was a movie made by KLF called "The White Room". (also the title of the album these songs are off of)
What would happen in a KLF movie, might you ask? It starts out in a club with crappy techno music (big surprise) that they keep cutting out completely. Nothing Happens. they then drive a police car around the city at night, more crappy techno music. Nothing Happens. They then drive the car around for almost the entire remainder of the running time of the movie, even more crappy techno. Nothing Happens. Then they paint the car white. Then they climb a very high snowy mountain. They then enter a room with a lot of fog machines going at the same time (most likely the "white room" from the title) where there are two fake mustaches sitting on a stool. They put on the fake mustaches and leave the room. And that's it. That's the whole fucking movie, except it took them 50 minutes to do it.
Who the hell are these guys??
KLF is actually two producers who used to play in punk bands. KLF was the number one singles band in the world in 1991. But here is the good shit:
They knew exactly what they were doing. Before KLF they started a group called the Timelords, who's only goal was to have a #1 single. They released one song. The terrible "Doctorin' the Tardis," (they credited the writing to "Ford," the car featured in all of the KLF videos) a tribute to Dr. Who over the Gary Glitter track "Rock and Roll Part 2". It Reached # 1 on the UK singles chart.
they then wrote a book entitled, "The Manual (How To Have a #1 the Easy Way)." A guide to creating a hit single with no talent. (promotional video below)
As i said earlier, after this initial success with the Timelords, KLF went to be the biggest singles band worldwide in 1991, and then decided to self destruct in a very entertaining way.
When invited to perform their single "3am Eternal" (video at the top of the post) at a British award show called "The Brits," they accepted and hired British crust legends Extreme Noise Terror to perform with them. This is what ensued:
They later actually played a KLF song, with KLF producer Bill Drummond firing machine gun blanks into the crowd, and sating at the end of the performance, "KLF has left the music business." Unfortunately, the incident was not televised.
They then dumped the carcass of a dead sheep on the doorstep of the afterparty for the awards ceremony.
If all that was not enough, they deleted their entire back catalogue of music, and then took all the rest of the money they made on KLF and burned it. They also made a 50 mintue movie about burning the money.. This is a 3 minute music video put together with the footage.
And that is the story of the KLF. Who knew a band with such shitty music could be so interesting?
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